Humorous? I hope So! That guy was totally right. It is utterly impossible to be funny on command.
I've been straining at it for the better part of the day. I formed a research team comprised of the best minds the world had to offer,
we logged a total of 100 man hours observing various instances of this so called 'humor.' We created all manner of data-studies, pie-charts, and ven diagrams. We compiled a cross referenced database of all our sources and empirical data, took every measure we could to achieve perfect accuracy. Meanwhile, a cohort of chemists, working in a multi-million dollar labratory complex, endeavored to distill the essence of humor from a pile of Tom Swift novels and a copy of 'Animal House.' The final members of our research initiative, expert biologists all, vivisected the five best jokes in the world, endeavoring to probe their anatomies and see what made them work. Unfortunately, none of the jokes survived this procedure. At the end of the expirament we were forced to admit defeat, both because it had become clear that humor was neither objectively quantifiable or possible to synthesize through sheer force of will, and because we had gone well over budget and now owed several significant debts to a cadre of shady Scientific Research Fellowships, who had sent men of questionable character and prodigious size to 'convince us' (through cunning argumentation and hitting us very hard) to pay back all our grant money.

I do hope you will, therefore, excuse the fact, that I have been unable to write for you a funny story. Clearly, such a thing is not only scientifically impossible, but potentially dangerous to attempt.